...BIP-bap-ZIP!~~,sSzzsssszZzazippp~~,,,~static~~~!@!?... ...oftentimes I get an impulse for a good steamy sex flick and I prop my legs up on either arm of the chair, hit the bowl a coupla times, swig on a purple-people eater Bacardi Bahama Mama Breezer; my array of internal/external devices plugged in, rarin' to turn me on and on and halfway into the movie, I'm into it with the couple on the tube; my Haitachi Magic Wand (w/the g-spotter attachment) bulls-eyed at my clit@m m mmedium speed ~~hummMmmin' ~~ n ~~hammMmmerin'heaventhings ~~--; 6" pink silicone dick squishin' in and out of my cunt; my body sweatin' and swervin' all over the chair... I watch the guys' face on the tv disappear somewhere under the girls bump-n-grinding twat; the girl barely tics a lick and a kiss at his balls... ... HA!, I thought: I woulda sucked those nutZ all the way into my mouth while they were ripe and tight like that…lame bitch!---then---suddenly, when me, the couple on the screen, my vibe machine, dildo and the tv are ready to pEAk --- rRrasssPPp!--the tv freezes up! WTF!!!
goddammitall, the remote is on top of the tv. so I take everything off and out of me, get up from the chair, grab the flicker-clicker, stand in front of the piece of shit, stark sweaty naked, cuss at nobody around, press the off button, then the on button and a message appears on the screen: **all tv circuits are busy, please try to tune-in later**--- BLIP --- test pattern ---...ahh fuck! I click it off and try again and again and again …
FINALLY, 15 minutes later, I get a damn connection! ALLELUIA! I rush back into position in the chair, light a cigarette and click to the channel the movie was on, desperate to be back in the mood-mode.
another couple is gettin' it on with another couple. o man! I'm ready again and BIP-bap-ZIP!~~~static~~ssZzsssZzapPPpp,,,~~!@!?<^>@~@!!?&**~~static~~you have been disconnected~~~~fuzzZzzzz~~~zzzzz~~~...
FUCK YOU TV televison boob-tube cocksucker m-f'in tv!...
I click it off and on again. I get lucky and connect right away. okok, I'm kewl I'm kewl, I can do this again. 2 seconds later, the fucker flashes a message in GIANT red letters: "INTERNAL ERROR" you have not shut your tv down properly. please turn your television off, unplug it from the outlet, wait 4 minutes, turn your set back on and start over. if this message appears again, please contact television technical support at the toll-free # provided by your manufactuer located in your owners operation manual for assistance in determining the source of the error found. to avoid seeing this message again, always shut off your tv by selecting the 'shut off' button on your remote control. do not whatsoever contact the merchant where you purchased your product and do not attempt to repeat the innapropriate process.
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK@ME!
I unplug the tv from the wall outlet, drag it to the picture window, heave it out onto the front lawn and wave all of my fingers at it!
now how many of us would toss our computer's like that? not many, tho oftentimes we're tempted.
so, goddamn you iCIA's and ISP's, have a little fuckin' consideration, why doncha's? this shit's old and annoying already. wank on yer own time, instead of interfuckinruptin' mine...we count too, fuckers!
ppPppssSS c:\setupthegoddamnshitrightthefirsttimeassholes.exe
INSERT@UPYERASS.com!
(this footage-flick has been enacted and re-enacted by
me for all reality purposes, 'cept there were birds incl.)
thank you for readin' me -- night dAev *program note
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