12-14-86

Each month
A new perspective
brushed canvas hazed
in amniotic blush
and hope

In the third month
Hands
hot Larger
than the strawberry patch
they covered
Spoke words
a decent father-
husband dare not
Will you be
One Of Those Women
who let themselves go
Speechless
Eyes filled with no
I shook my head Rattled
the sleeping stereotype
of Morning Sickness
to 24/7 Awake
Pounding
to be let
Out

He was always out
Until the end
of the second trimester
Water Father's gin
vagrant perfume
spoiled beige Karastan
Shrilled threads
You look like a man

Yeah
A Man
with 44 D's Flamingo
profile and a heart
to choke his throat
(If I could get my hands
around my belly)

I waded through visits
Sugar Toxic streams
flaming about my ankles
Orange Bruised
and sleepless nights
Each hour striking
the clock with chimes
of green vomit
I couldn't see
the end as I couldn't feel
my feet Blue
Stalking time
Pinching floorboards
until the ninth hand
folded
Two weeks late
A gush
watery yellow
blood flowed into 24
hours under pale floresants
I had no lamaze
Partnered
only by blood ringed eyes
of father Time's husband
counting the pants
deep breaths
and holds
I was
past humor
Post humous
Breathing sick air
in rhythm to doctor's
orders Cutting thin
pink flesh around
my son's fair head

Retribution
offered early
In payment
of circumcision
Decisions
Father made
for a comatose wife-
Mother Baby laid
wet and pink

Wide eyes Still Blue
Andrew
Drew
PoohBear Coverlet
over tiny fingers
Father's husband voice
counting toes
the first
and last
I Love You
falling
like drizzling
snow.