• Pull My Finger
by: Shannon Michele Johnston
june 2000

King Dong And The Washing Machine

     That's it! All of this time has been a complete waste! I am not a feminist, but dammit I have my share of beliefs when it comes to the more intelligent of the human species, and I have spent a majority of my life trying to prove that we women are not doormats/sex-slaves/housekeepers, and we are not confined to the purpose of maintaining the household.
     I have spent years convincing my husband that I am not just a maid he can fuck. And I don't appreciate being pressed into the very narrow mold of "wife" and "mother" just because I am a married female with children. So just as I thought I had the battle in my own territory won, and my husband was actually the last of the bigots, I discovered just how wrong I have been while I was doing laundry one day. I was pouring soap into the washer and since I am so internet minded, I noticed the URL on the back of the soap box. "Wisk laundry experts are available to answer your laundry questions. Call us, we're here to help, or visit our web site at (pay close attention) www.women.com/wisk".
     The hairs on the back of my neck raised a little, and I thought what bigotry to assume that only women do laundry! What fascist assumptions to think that only we would require a site to conquer the evils of laundry washing. I don't know about you, but I only wash towels, undies, jeans and T-shirts, everything else goes to the cleaners.
With a zillion other possibilities, why women.com? Why not men.com? So, I decided this required a little investigation. I called up www.men.com/wisk and what do you think I found? A site to aid men in the ever-perplexing laundry situations? Hell no, they have hotpussy.com, 1-800-SIRLOVE adult phone fun and voyeur.com. Now is this fair? And is this page full of frolic sponsored by our friendly detergent corporation?
     Where are the sites for us? Feeling like I needed to advocate our rights, I began my search. I logged on to www.hotgun.com to see what I would find, and there, we get Red Square sex, featuring women, www.FetishHotel.com featuring FAT women and women's feet. Live Pussy Eating at Kara's Adult Playground. Asian strippers, and LESBIANPINK.com. Plus a pop-up with dildo (as in battery operated) cam, college dorm girls, teen gangbang, grannies and more Asians. No hotguns to be found anywhere. I typed in www.hotdick.com and got www.boner.com. It looked like I finally hit pay-dirt when naked men started to load, only to be disappointed again to learn that it is a site for gay men. Hmmmm.
     Ladies, we need to stand up for our rights it seems. It is not only a man's world, but it is a GAY man's world too! And we women are still stuck in the laundry room pouring soap into the washer trying to thread together stain removal strategies.
I was also disappointed to find that the penis governs the world I live in. That every greedy, moral-less bastard imaginable caters to the cock. In short, the world is still run by a bunch of dicks.

Shannon Michele Johnston
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