I want to fail and fall flat and face first. I want to be buried in shit and then rise again in glory and flamboyant prestige. I want to sink down into the very bottom of the abyss and then pull myself back out by the length of my tongue.
I was once in love with a woman but they locked me down in Saint Louis. I refused to pledge allegiance to the flag, but I did to her and they cut out my spirit and pissed in my eyes. She was always there for me though, and she always will be at the end of it all. And before being restrained by the powers that be, I performed for her face first better than anyone else ever has before, and she bucked her hips and rolled her eyes with the insanity of a beast. And then the drugs kicked in and I looked up into the dumb doctor's eyes, and he didn't know what the hell either.
Sit back and chill and light a smoke if you will. I wish to tell you about some key ideas here that have rocked and rolled and laid more than a few eggs of dark within my psyche. It is indeed extremely difficult for me to believe that I am confined and held back while children of ignorant bliss run rampant. There is so much eunuch complacence before me that it takes more self-restraint than the average jerk can muster to keep from killing. I need relief in the form of a good solid scream and bloody wail and to force my fist up the ass of contemporary thought. They may strap me down and chokehold my arms, but the words race wild and if I am able to just slide them into ink the damage is done. I am full of sweet and tender droplets of fury and I spread the seed by transposing the thought. The potential impact that exists is the hope that one day, someone might read this and give a good crap and cry or fornicate or commit suicide as a result. I need only to inflict, and if that infliction/infection is the sorrow or the hating of myself for writing this, then so be it, and also that much better!
However, any similarities to any people, real or living, it is purely coincidental. It is confidential and one hundred percent contrived and thus no longer real.
And if they ever release me from the iron chains that wire me down, I will ascend high out of the loony bin and into the woman. And as the dawn of a new millennium rolls forth, I will drop to my knees for her one last time and dig into the Holy Grail and taste the river of cheap wine.
Jay Miner
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